Pray and call up 6108282. If you're unfortunate enough not to have the Tata Teleservices network in your area yet, you have three options: wait till they get there, wait till they get there, or wait till they get there.

Oh sorry, there's a fourth for the masochist type. Painful applications, meaningless waits, linemen addicted to chai paani, irregular and unpredictable bills, employees who think life would be a lot better if there were no such thing as customers…

Welcome to the world of DoT where nothing is as simple as dialing 6108282! Really, it's unbelievable that this monolith still lives in the days of the Raj. The funniest part is the famous saying by the Mahatma hung in the Suryalok Complex about a customer being the most important visitor on the premises. We think DoT's employees find it the funniest.

For those of you who still want to venture forth, here's what you need to do, the application forms for provision of new telephone connection are available for sale at these centers on cash payments of Rs. 10/- (nobody comes to your house, of course). The deposit is Rs. 3000, payable by DD in favor of "RBI A/C CAO, A P Telecom, Hyderabad".

• Room No 74 and 75, Ground Floor, Suryalok Complex, Gunfoundry, Hyderabad - 1
• Room No 58 and 59, Minerva Complex, S D road, Secunderabad - 3
• Telephone Exchange Building, Charminar, Hyderabad - 2
• Telephone Exchange Building, Erragadda, Hyderabad - 2
• Telephone Exchange Building, Gowliguda, Hyderabad - 2
• Telephone Exchange Building, Musheerabad, Hyderabad - 2
• Office of the G M Telecom District, Vikram Building, beside MCH Complex, Adarshnagar
• Office of the Divisional Engineer Phones (External) Sec'bad, F-1, 3rd floor, Surya Towers, Sec'bad

Submit the duly filled in form at any of the following places: